Today Zoe Margolis spoke at the Mumsnet Blogfest (a blogging conference organised by the parenting forum Mumsnet) I couldn’t attend the conference but when I logged onto the PC this evening I saw Zoe talking about the fact that she and her blog had been called “the blogging equivalent of flashing in the park”, not by a member of the audience but by the chair of the panel she was contributing to.
Host just referred to @girlonetrack as “the blogging equivalent of flashing in the park”
— The Vagenda Team (@VagendaMagazine) November 10, 2012
For everyone at Mumsnet who is confused about the difference between a sex blogger and a flasher here is a quick summary:
A flasher does not ask your consent, they force you to see them. A sex blogger writes online about sex, factual, fiction or somewhere in between. They are not forcing you to read. You get to choose.
Consent is key to much of the content that sex bloggers’ write about. Choosing who to have or not have sex with, how, when and where they do or don’t have sex. Sex bloggers’ choose. Flashers force.
Moreover, as Jemima pointed out, to dismiss someone with such a comparison negates and undermines not only their work but the experience of those people that are the victims of flashers.
@Eroticon @vagendamagazine @girlonetrack and dismissing the experience of women who have been flashed at, some find it v traumatic
— Jemima (@itsjustahobby)
This evening I took to Twitter and asked the sex bloggers to complete the phrase #sexbloggersare, so here from sex bloggers and their readers are some of the things that #sexbloggersare:
#sexbloggersare not always who you suspect would be. — Scarlet (@ScarletRoseFox) November 10, 2012
#sexbloggersare Smarter than most — Signs (@DomSigns) November 10, 2012
#sexbloggersare Talented — Marie Rebelle (@RebelsNotes) November 10, 2012
#sexbloggersare prone to creating some of the web’s most exciting, titillating and moreish content. Fans of quality sex blogging unite! — Festival Erotic Arts (@eroticarts) November 10, 2012
#sexbloggersare removing a lot of the unnecessary shame and stigma around sex in it’s many forms.
— Bunny White (@BurlesqueBun) November 10, 2012
In fact sex bloggers are like other bloggers, people, with feelings. The only difference is the content. All bloggers are somewhat self-indulgent, we like to write about our interests and ideas, the difference with sex bloggers is that with our content comes respect and openness. We know not everyone wants to read what we write, we know that sometimes what we write will challenge assumptions and possibly butt up against someone else’s view of the world. But we aren’t writing to upset you, or to force you to think the same as us, to fuck the same as us. We aren’t writing to shame you, we know you and your version of sexuality is sacred to you, just as ours is to us.
So next time you want to insult a sex blogger, or get a cheap laugh, please stop and think about what you are saying and how you say it, because #sexbloggersare standing up for ourselves.
