Where do our fantasies come from? Why does this particular thing turn me on so much? How does trauma fit into all this? All too often, these questions are asked in a pathologising way. We don't owe anyone an explanation for our turn-ons. But understanding our sexual desires - and those of the characters we create - can be a powerful way of getting to know hidden aspects of ourselves. In this session we'll tackle some of the harmful ideas which attempt to "explain" our more unusual turn-ons, and collaborate to create a list of stigmatising tropes to avoid in erotic writing. From there we'll take a curious, celebratory dive into recent theories of erotic development to better understand how our sexual tastes are formed.